Loyalty is Pain
by Southpaw Swordsman
Summary: In which Canada comes to realize the great truth that many young people and nations must come to accept... love stinks.


**A/N: This idea came to me when I was thinking about the nation of Canada. I've never really seen Canada as being that French... yes, they do have Quebec, but that province has elections to split from the rest of the country... and they don't seem like the English-speakers, and vise-versa. Actually, I have seen that Canadians like Great Britain more than France (with reason, too. Canada was Britain's longer than it was France's.) ...I'm sorry if this offends anyone, though. That's not the intention...and if some things are wrong, I apologize... and don't think that you shouldn't tell me. I can take it. I urge you to tell me.**

**Happy belated Canada Day everyone!**

**...and now, without further ado, enjoy my silly little story.**

* * *

It happened one day over tea. Unexpectedly, as these things usually are.

"Canada," England said, placing his cup carefully before him, "I think it's time that you became a little more independent."

Canada froze midway of putting a spoonful of honey in his teacup (since England thought that maple syrup would be too much for it…) and stared at England disbelievingly.

"What?"

"I'm giving you a little more power in what you do," England explained, "You don't have to answer to me for everything anymore."

"I… what…?" Canada asked, still looking a little shocked, "But… why…?"

"Well," England said with a little embarrassed laugh, "It's just… you have been wanting things your own way a little more lately… and you seem up to it…"

"Did I do anything wrong?" Canada asked, beginning to panic, suddenly getting up and staring at England in fright and worry, "I still need your help with a lot of things…!"

"Relax!" England said, putting his hand on the young nation's shoulder in an effort to placate him, "I'm not dropping you completely!"

Those words seemed to calm Canada a little bit, and he slowly lowered himself back down onto his plush chair. He looked down at his cup and saucer, then at the spoon in his hand, "Well… I have been wanting more diplomatic power lately…" he said, it sounding more like a soft self-reassuring statement than anything else.

"Done," England responded, a relaxed smile already forming on his face.

Canada gave a timid, almost worried smile as he began stirring the honey into his Earl Grey tea. _This isn't bad_, he told himself, _I've wanted this… this is a good thing._

…and so, Canada became a little more independent.

As the years went by, England began allowing Canada more and more power, allowing him to make bigger and bigger decisions by himself. Canada, however, hardly wanted to stray from England's side, even when he was allowed the opportunity. England gave him a sense of security and reassurance… and Canada was still getting used to being out on his own, he still needed a little guidance now and then.

It also felt good that he was still on pretty good terms with England, which was more than could be said about some of the other countries that had received independence…

Of course, many of those countries didn't really get their independence with England's blessing.

Canada could live with this… he could live with this just fine.

…

…except for the fact that as Canada was gaining power, England was slowly forgetting about his existence.

Okay, he wasn't so much forgetting about his existence as he was forgetting about his _importance…_

…but it was probably because he wasn't as rich or as powerful as America… that was why England was giving his neighbor to the south a little more attention than him in the recent years… Even if he was louder, and more obnoxious… and was a rebellious collection of colonies and didn't respect England like he ought to have… and didn't stay loyal to the crown and didn't want to be British… that was okay…

It was all just for money, anyway, wasn't it…? England still liked Canada better when it came down to it, didn't he…? It would make more sense, wouldn't it…?

…and England didn't even like America, anyway… Canada could tell because England had been very against Canada opening trade with his neighbor a while ago…

Canada sighed, sitting down on his couch with his little polar bear friend Kujimajo… or Kumajujo… or whatever his name was.

It was a lot lonelier without England there to help him while away the hours…

"It's all for economic reasons," Canada said aloud. He turned to his companion and gave a weak, worried smile, "Right…?"

The bear simply blinked once and asked, "Who are you?"

Canada slumped into his seat, "Canada," he responded unhappily.

Then, a strange feeling struck him. If his own pet, his own dear Kumamajo couldn't even remember him, then maybe England would forget about him soon… especially when compared to his similar-looking, more powerful and more flashy neighbor. If, by chance, England _wasn't_ just paying more attention to America for economic reasons, once Canada was completely free from England's rule, there was a chance that Canada would fade completely from his thoughts.

Then, an even more unhappy thought entered Canada's mind… What if England's interest in Canada was because of America…? What if he only wanted to be around Canada because he was near America…? Maybe England was letting Canada go because he served his purpose of reopening commerce between himself and Canada's southern neighbor!

Canada shook his head roughly, "No, I won't let myself think that," he said out loud.

Kujimajo looked at him curiously, "What…?"

"I just need to remind England just how much his help means to me," Canada mumbled to himself, getting up, "…and that I can be a much more loyal and indispensable ally…"

…and so, Canada began working very hard to show England just that.

He enthusiastically went to war for England, helping him in any way shape or form he could. He sent men, he sent supplies, and even though he sometimes felt as though he wasn't appreciated for his efforts, he continued on!

…even though his people's French-speaking tendencies made him rank overall lower than he would have liked…

…and he was getting tired about how England took his hard work for granted…

Hey, though… maybe England just thought Canada was still British, that's why he didn't quite say that the soldiers were from North America…

Canada sat at his breakfast table, pushing around his pancakes and not bothering to eat them. He looked up at the polar bear sitting across from him and gave a sigh.

"…he doesn't appreciate me," he said, letting a little anger slip into his voice, "…well… maybe I won't help next time…! He'll see how much he'll need me then!"

…and he did. He stood his ground the next time and didn't send any troops to back up England. Surely England would get the message!

...if Canada hadn't caved on his resolve and ended up helping England save face in public relations.

Canada sat on his couch, watching the BBC and nursing his third beer of the night. He looked at Kumijiju and gave a deep, mournful sigh, "Why?" was his simple question.

Kujimajo blinked once, and said, "Who are you?"

Canada responded as best as his buzzed mind would allow and threw one of his empty beer cans at the bear's head. "CANADA," he said.

Canada then settled back into his seat, watching the British comedians play across the screen and take him away from his troubled life.

…at least he could get the BBC.

Years later, something marvelous happened. He was allowed into the G6 meetings (making them then G7 meetings) because he was considered a powerful enough force in the world economy. Canada saw this as a bit of a sign… maybe England actually did notice him more than he realized. (What Canada didn't seem to notice at the time was it was actually _America _and _Germany_ who proposed that he joined, not England at all.)

As Canada sat with the others, helped discuss important factors in the world, he felt better. Seeing England sitting so close to him and discussing important world things with him made him feel appreciated, noticed again. It was one of the happiest feelings he had felt in a long time.

That is… until that one time, when England approached him from behind and was certain that he was America.

"…and he didn't even know who I was until France told him. FRANCE…!" Canada bawled at Kujijimo that night. He took another swig of his beer and buried his head in his arms. "I haven't been France's colony in… in forever!"

Kujimajo looked a little lost at that and patted his master's shoulder comfortingly, "Don't cry, whoever you are… I'm sure it was just a mistake."

"Yeah, he mistook me for America. AMERICA!"

"It'll all blow over soon," Kujijoma said.

"You don't understand! I've been his longer than America has… I'm part of the G7! I… I…" he cut himself off with another gulp of beer, "I'm STILL connected to him!" he said through a gasp.

"Well, if he doesn't appreciate you, then just cut all ties with him," Kumamaji suggested.

"What…?"

"Become an independent country and forget about him!" Kujamiro said, "It's only fair."

Canada gave a little hiccup, "You… you think I should…?"

…and so, due to Kujimaro's urging, Canada finally became an independent country. But, since his people were the descendants of loyalist British colonists, he really didn't feel that great about the split. (Of course, he did enjoy the freedom he got from it, but still…)

It felt… strange.

"So, you're finally free from me," England said, looking at Canada and folding his hands behind his back. They were talking during a break at the G7 meeting… everyone else had cleared out of the room on the prowl for refreshments and other miscellaneous things.

_So, you finally remember me,_ Canada thought, but he gave a strained smile and said, "Yes."

"…congratulations."

"…thank you."

England gave a nod, and looked away.

Suddenly feeling a little odd, Canada blurted, "We're still friends, right?"

"Of course…" England replied, a little distantly, his eyes trained on the hall beyond the doorway.

England suddenly began to walk toward the door, giving Canada's direction a bit of a dismissive wave.

At that, Canada felt something boiling inside of him. What was so interesting that it was stopping England from having a decent conversation with him? Would it be too much to ask to actually talk to him again like he used to? Didn't England care about him at all? About Canada's thoughts, about his feelings, about his loyalty, about his ANYTHING? Wasn't he worth anything in his eyes?

…was it America that England was walking towards…?

That thought alone was enough to get Canada to get up from his seat.

"England!"

"Yes?" England asked, looking back at Canada curiously.

Canada suddenly lost whatever rage had been building within him, "I… I nevermind…"

England looked at him for a few seconds more before walking out the door.

Canada looked down at the polished wood table he had been sitting at. _He shouldn't be looking for America…_ Canada thought, staring at his reflection in the table's beautiful sheen, _America doesn't care about England. He doesn't care about the Queen or about his history or anything…_

He continued to stare at himself, _Well, what are you going to do about it…? _He found himself asking.

It was HE who stayed loyal to the crown when many other colonies became their own countries.

It was HE who still had respect for England and all he stood for.

It was HE whose population ran thick with loyalists, even when America purged them from his grounds.

It was HE…

So… why did England not care…?

Why did England look away…?

_And what are you going to do about it…?_

Suddenly, Canada turned from the table and ran out of the room, sprinting after England with all of his might.

"England!" he called, catching sight of the other nation on the other end of the hall.

It was HE who felt this loyalty.

It was HE who cared about him…

Maybe England just needed Canada to say it… maybe he just forgot it…

England turned in surprise.

As soon as his eyes met Canada's Canada immediately looked at the floor, suddenly feeling a little more self-conscious than he would have liked.

…but England needed to hear this.

…England had to know.

"I… I…"

England needed to know.

"I just…"

Canada swallowed.

"I wanted to tell you that…"

He couldn't stop himself now. He closed his eyes, braced himself, and whispered the words:

"I love you."


End file.
